yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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