thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
