Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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