I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
