make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
