I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Blood and glitter go together right?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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