FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
