if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
