i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
vagina is talking i cant
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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