I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
