State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
