so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
