She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
