it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
