Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
