He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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