You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
