we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
