Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
