I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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