She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
