Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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