Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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