You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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