so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
