I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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