Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
