someone get that fucking seahorse.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
