I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She is in my trunk
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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