garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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