I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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