i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
