So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
