Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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