NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
