i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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