what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
