I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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