When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
