Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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