Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
