just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
