Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Less talking, more tequila
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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