All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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