Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
