I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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