Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
