she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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