I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
