Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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